Adoption, Their Heart To Ours
My husband and I were waiting for a little one to arrive... for years. We knew that in time we would be blessed with a precious little baby, we just didn't know how many people would eventually be involved in our journey. Like many families, we brought both of our beautiful babies home from the hospital, however, I did not give birth to them. While we were struggling with the lack of ten tiny toes in our household, other couples were struggling with emotions that I may never comprehend. We didn't know these other families, and we would still be considered strangers if we met face to face, but we now share a beautifully unique tie with each family. It is simply amazing!
As we went through the adoption process, it was so hard for me to imagine the hurt that the birth family must experience. We had been experiencing the feeling of loss for so many years, but for the families on the other side of the paperwork, their feelings of loss were just beginning. I met a birth mother while we were going through the adoption process who expressed how excited she was every time she received pictures and letters in the mail. She also mentioned her distress when the letters slowed without warning. Was it unhealthy that she depended on these pictures and letters so much? I don't know, but I know if it was me, I would never lose that desire to see what this little child looks like. If I had to, I would manage, but I don't believe that the curiosity would subside.
This experience made me realize how important it is to send pictures and letters regularly. Then... I couldn't understand why someone would not send post-adoption pictures and letters. Now... Wow, chasing after two little ones, diapers, baths, getting dressed, getting to the doctors, gymnastics, school, family, church and many other activties, as well as keeping up with laundry, meals, dishes, cleaning... what pee in the bed... more laundry, the other one just got sick... more laundry. Ok, I finally get how easy it can be to neglect getting those photos printed, a letter written, an envelope addressed and to the post office. Yet the guilt in understanding how important these pictures and letters are to our children's birth parents got the best of me every time. I would race to the post office and pay overnight charges to make sure that the letters made it to them quickly.
A little over 4 years ago, I started envisioning a website that would allow us to privately connect with our children's birth families. This vision came true when TiesToMe.com went live over 3 months ago and our family has truly benefited from the communication that we might otherwise have not had with our 2 children's birth families.
TiesToMe.com is a site for adoptive families and birth families to communicate online with one another privately. It is similar to other social networks in that you can post comments and blogs, pictures and letters, and even videos. However, it is set apart from these other sites to completely separate a member from their regular social circles. This way the members can openly post about their unique tie knowing that their privacy is respected.
It is so exciting to be able to offer this to other adoptive families and birth families. So far, the site has had quite a bit of activity. To be able to help other families develop a connection with their unique ties at their own comfort level is a true blessing.
As we went through the adoption process, it was so hard for me to imagine the hurt that the birth family must experience. We had been experiencing the feeling of loss for so many years, but for the families on the other side of the paperwork, their feelings of loss were just beginning. I met a birth mother while we were going through the adoption process who expressed how excited she was every time she received pictures and letters in the mail. She also mentioned her distress when the letters slowed without warning. Was it unhealthy that she depended on these pictures and letters so much? I don't know, but I know if it was me, I would never lose that desire to see what this little child looks like. If I had to, I would manage, but I don't believe that the curiosity would subside.
This experience made me realize how important it is to send pictures and letters regularly. Then... I couldn't understand why someone would not send post-adoption pictures and letters. Now... Wow, chasing after two little ones, diapers, baths, getting dressed, getting to the doctors, gymnastics, school, family, church and many other activties, as well as keeping up with laundry, meals, dishes, cleaning... what pee in the bed... more laundry, the other one just got sick... more laundry. Ok, I finally get how easy it can be to neglect getting those photos printed, a letter written, an envelope addressed and to the post office. Yet the guilt in understanding how important these pictures and letters are to our children's birth parents got the best of me every time. I would race to the post office and pay overnight charges to make sure that the letters made it to them quickly.
A little over 4 years ago, I started envisioning a website that would allow us to privately connect with our children's birth families. This vision came true when TiesToMe.com went live over 3 months ago and our family has truly benefited from the communication that we might otherwise have not had with our 2 children's birth families.
TiesToMe.com is a site for adoptive families and birth families to communicate online with one another privately. It is similar to other social networks in that you can post comments and blogs, pictures and letters, and even videos. However, it is set apart from these other sites to completely separate a member from their regular social circles. This way the members can openly post about their unique tie knowing that their privacy is respected.
It is so exciting to be able to offer this to other adoptive families and birth families. So far, the site has had quite a bit of activity. To be able to help other families develop a connection with their unique ties at their own comfort level is a true blessing.
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